(3 min read)
Years ago, I was really stuck in my career and personal life and I wasn’t sure why. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how to move forwards.
I was fortunate enough to have a 3-min conversation with a coach who didn’t give me the answer. She just listened to me rambling, created a safe space for me to have my verbal diarrhoea, and asked some simple and intuitive questions.
Before I knew it, my coach had me jump in the lift and travel all the way down to the basement of my subconscious thoughts to discover an ’embarrassing’ belief I had unknowingly been dragging around with me since childhood. This thought had been wreaking havoc with my ability to connect deeply with others and causing me to avoid and procrastinate on certain actions I needed to take.
With a sense of deep curiosity, my coach said to me “Oh, that’s interesting.” And then let me sit with my bombshell revelation.
Your subconscious thoughts always end up running the show, whether you like it or not.
You might also be feeling stuck, frustrated, annoyed, tired, fatigued, angry, or embarrassed at your inability to take real focused action towards your dreams and desires.
You need to create psychologically safe spaces to get awareness of what subconscious thoughts are keeping you stuck where you are.
Psychological safety is normally discussed in terms of experiencing safety within a work team so that one feels comfortable to bring up ideas and mistakes without fear of punishment or humiliation.
However, if I wasn’t given the space to explore and be with my thoughts, I would never have had the courage to really share what was bothering me. If I had felt any pressure, judgement, or dismissal of my thoughts or feelings, I would have reactively shut down and refused to take responsibility for my situation – my way of protecting myself.
Being open enough to face the deepest parts of ourselves requires one to feel extremely safe. It is necessary to be able to confront, accept and break through subconscious beliefs.
Here are 3 simple strategies to help you do that:
1. Write everything down
Write what you may ask? Everything and anything on your mind. Whilst I love journalling, it can be quite prescriptive with certain question prompts. This is ideal when you want to focus, but isn’t as beneficial if you’re wanting to create space to be heard – about anything on your mind.
Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way introduces a practice called ‘Morning Pages’ – where you write 3 continuous pages of your stream of consciousness first thing in the morning to help with creativity. There are no boundaries, but just allow yourself to be – with no fear that your thoughts will be judged.
The process of writing also activates various parts of the brain helping to make new neural connections and reveal powerful insights.
2. Ask yourself some challenging questions
Be bold to ask yourself some deep questions, and just like Strategy #1, write down your answers.
Better yet, get someone else to ask you the questions and just sit with you whilst you write the answers. There is a different level of thinking when someone else asks you a question.
Don’t be afraid to write down what comes up.
Some potential questions (that I have also picked up through my LinkedIn family):
- What do my habits say about the person I am becoming?
- What do I really want?
- What is one thing I can do today to take me closer to what I love?
- What am I afraid to give up to have the life I desire?
- What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
3. Invest in a professional coach
There’s nothing like having someone in your corner that really desires to see you reach your goals and potential, and is also trained in how to help you get there.
It’s the difference between making your own coffee at home vs having an experienced barista make one for you. Or trying to sew your own clothes vs getting a seamstress to tailor an outfit for you.
The quality and results speak for themselves.
What are you going to try this week?
What support do you need?
Imagine the impact you could make if you were able to stop procrastinating and take consistent focused action? Imagine the kind of person you would be if you knew exactly what was getting in the way of your progress and took strides forward to what you really believed in.
I’m cheering you on in this journey.
-Candice
