How many of us know that good intentions don’t always lead to success?
Before I became a mum to a beautiful daughter I knew how I would dress her – she would be stylish and funky – none of this floral princess business! This worked until she was about 15 months when she systematically rejected all my efforts to provide her with the perfect wardrobe. I continued to persevere however instead of me being able to demonstrate my superior style and clear understanding of what was best for her, it would always end in a battle – my YES vs her NO.
You may not be trying to influence the fashion choices of your child (first-world issues), but you may have other people that you need to lead and guide. If you lead a team of people (no matter how big or small), or are in a position of influence, you want to match your intentions with the outcome.
The thing is, I know you are a person that doesn’t take their position lightly. You do not abuse your power and authority, and sometimes you even wonder whether you should be a leader at all. You want to ensure that your actions are resulting in the desired outcomes that you seek and not making things potentially worse!
And sometimes this is where the problem lies. You are all-in as a leader. You really want to see your people thrive, grow and succeed. I call this the ‘too much’ syndrome. It’s where your passion and care for the people actually get in the way of helping them succeed.
Here are some ways in which I have seen well-intentioned and ‘too much’ leaders create the exact opposite of the results they seek.
- Being reliable – too much
- Caring about your people – too much
- Empowering your people – too much
- Being reliable – too much
You are dependable. You grew up with leaders that were often unavailable or too busy to help you with your questions. When a team member asks you to review something, you spend the evening combing through their document or researching their questions so you can provide some valuable feedback. You write extensive notes for them. You are ok to answer their phone calls at 7pm during dinner time, or during your committed DND time.
What will happen?
Apart from having a lack of personal boundaries, the challenging thing here is about allowing your team to fail. You become a safety net for them and they do not problem-solve on their own. You can end up stifling creativity, drive, and initiative. Just like a parent who constantly rescues their child and brings their forgotten lunchbox to school, your team will never develop the muscle of knowing how to do things on their own. You will create a bunch of minions who will follow your ways, but their potential is capped and they won’t challenge your thinking. It will be great for your ego, but will do nothing for their personal growth, and the growth and success of your business.
- Caring about your people – too much
You really want to see your team succeed. You see great potential in them and you desire to help them grow, just as you have, into confident and driven people. You give them challenging tasks and are with them every step of the way to ensure they know you are fully committed to their growth. You provide directions and best-practice solutions and are more than willing to offer advice on how to solve problems – since you have done it before.
What’s wrong with that?
Well, a bit too much of this can often result in an appearance of micromanagement and needing your staff to solve issues in the same way you have done. They may feel uncomfortable speaking up about their concerns since you are so nice and helpful to them. You may even come across as being somewhat of a perfectionist.
- Empowering your people – too much
As a leader, you have complete trust and faith in your team. You know they are capable of great things and you don’t want to ‘waste’ their time doing work that matters by interrupting them with pointless meetings. You know that if they have an issue they will raise it with you. You don’t want to be one of those leaders that is constantly hovering and clock-watching. Besides, you have so many important things you need to do as well.
Sounds like a dream team?
Again, too much of this hands-off approach, and the sense of empowerment becomes more like abdication or abandonment. As a leader of impact, we often want to help others fulfill their potential, but sometimes we move away too quickly. We forget our role as a leader is to provide the right amount of connection and guidance to keep our team motivated and to help them understand how their work contributes to the bigger purpose and mission of the business.
Furthermore, if you have the wrong people on the bus (Jim Collin’s famous bus analogy), this can cause dire consequences as they are left to their own devices, and can even take advantage of your ‘empowering’ approach by not needing to be kept accountable to their actions and commitments.
How to shift your good intentions to get the results you want
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being reliable, caring for your team and wanting to empower them, however striking the right balance between good intentions and appropriate boundaries requires regular reflection on your leadership and ongoing communication with your team.
By shifting your focus from the kind of leader you want to be, to what kind of leader do your people need, you will begin to create a highly engaged and productive team.
In Dan Pink’s book ‘Drive’, and TED talk, he focuses on 3 key elements of engaged staff and what helps them to be intrinsically motivated. There is plenty of research and evidence to link engaged staff with better results and greater impact.
These 3 elements are Mastery, Autonomy and Purpose.
- From Being Too Reliable to Encouraging Mastery
When you begin to deliberately allow your team to make mistakes, fail and try again, you are providing them with the gift of learning and growth. Having personal mastery over a task, project or skill will continue to motivate your team and give them confidence to step out and try more things
- From Caring Too much for your people to Increasing Autonomy
Although you want to see your team succeed, they also need the ability to make their own decisions (within the boundaries you set). Perhaps your boundaries need to be widened slightly to allow them to set their own mini-goals and reach the agreed outcome in their unique way. It’s about letting go and trusting your team more.
- From Being Too Empowering to Reinforcing Purpose
Continually talking to your team about the bigger picture and a purpose larger than themselves does wonders for engagement and productivity. This ongoing dialogue and reinforcement will help your team connect their personal goals to the wider business goals and mission. They will see how their actions, or inactions contribute to achieving overall goals.
Can you see yourself as any of these ‘too much’ leaders? Send me a message as I’d love to hear from you.
If you would like a more customised approach to developing yourself or your team, contact me for a free 30-minute strategy call and we will create a program that is specific to your needs and more.
And with my daughter – I have come to see that she is definitely a floral princess at heart. She is now almost 10 years old – and yes, we only go shopping together now. However, she knows that her opinions matter, she can make decisions, she values her own voice and speaks up when she needs to. I think that’s a pretty good trade-off for puffy vests and chunky boots, don’t you?
